It seems like the older I get, the more happy-sad life becomes.  Happy-sad is my new favorite grief saying and hence forth it shall be used any time something is simultaneously beautiful and excruciating.

Happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive and no where is this more evident than the holidays. Now I know some of you are feeling just plain sad-sad right now, but a day will come (if it hasn’t already) when something makes you cry and smile all at the same time.  When this happens, notice it and remember it, because this is happy-sad.

After the death of a loved one, the holidays forever become a mix of happy and sad moments.  With time, the sad moments become fewer and less intense, but they never completely go away, and ten years later a song or an ornament or a sentiment can still make you cry. To illustrate my point, I’ve put together an immutable list of all the times my…err…your loved one’s death made you cry this holiday season.

1. When that Christmas card pushed you over the edge.

2.  When you made their favorite recipe.
3.  When you burnt their favorite recipe.

4. When you heard their favorite holiday song.

5. When you heard their least favorite holiday song.

6.  When you couldn’t face those carolers.

7. When you found a gift they would have loved.

8. When you found their special ornament.

9. When you sat across from their empty seat at the holiday celebration.

10.  When you remembered the holidays will never be the same as they were before their death.

How ever you’re feeling this holiday season – happy, sad, or happy-sad – just know you are not alone.  Hang in there, take things one minute at a time, open yourself up to the possibility of joy, remember why you celebrate whatever it is you celebrate, honor your loved one’s memory, love others and let others love you.

We probably won’t be spending much time on the blog over the next week, but we will be checking in on Facebook so stop by and let us know how it’s going.  As always, subscribe.

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