Last month, I posted some photos of grief graffiti and street art I’ve come across in my neighborhood over the past few years. I’ve written before about how much I love Baltimore, this city I call home, and how deeply it feels like a place that grieves—not just the people, but the city itself. Maybe that makes perfect sense to you, or maybe it doesn’t. Either way, it’s one of the reasons I always find my way back here. Grief doesn’t hide in the shadows in Baltimore; it lives out in the open.
This is a city where strangers say hi on the street, chat at bus stops, and casually mention the losses they carry. Women you don’t know call you “baby” (more often than “hon”), and people don’t shy away from conversations about grief the way it sometimes feels like they do elsewhere.
When I look around this city I love, I often find myself thinking about what grieving is.
It’s a hard question to answer, isn’t it? Grieving can feel almost ineffable. But somehow it made sense to share these photos with a challenge to make it effable (assuming “effable” is actually a word??). I offered my own words about what grieving is—specifically grieving and not grief—because the action of the word felt significant. And I invited our followers to do the same.
Grieving, in one word, is ________________________?
Below, you’ll find my photos and my attempts to give words to grieving. Scattered among them are the words others shared in response to this challenge (you can find the original post and comments here on Instagram). Not everyone stuck to the “one word” rule—because, let’s be honest, one word is tough. But sometimes, when we push ourselves to simplify, we clarify our own complicated and expansive experiences.
Take a look at the list. Add your own “Grieving is . . .” in the comments.
Grieving is learning
Grieving is initiation
Grieving is expansive
Grieving is daily
Grieving is surviving
Grieving is revealing
Grieving is full of surprises
Grieving is adjusting then readjusting. Constantly.
Grieving is yearning
Grieving is feeling
Grieving is life-shaking
Grieving is unpredictable
Grieving is deconstructing / Grieving is recontructing
Grieving is natural
Grieving is human
Grieving is real
Grieving is loving
Grieving is love
Grieving is transmutation
Grieving is part of life
Grieving is shapeshifting
Grieving is acknowledging
Grieving is learning to live without
Grieving is praise
Grieving is creating
Grieving is humbling
Grieving is devastating
Grieving is an irreparable emptiness
Grieving is remembering
Grieving is lonely
Grieving is spilling over, again and again.
Grieving is healing
Grieving is living
Grieving is re-living
Grieving is becoming
Grieving is re-learning
Grieving is exhausting
Grieving is all these things, all at once, everywhere
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